Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What does it mean when someone tells you they love you and want you in their life, but doesn't want to commit?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What is the cost of implementing synchronized traffic lights in a mid-sized city?

I had run out of hope.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Dollar surge could be short-lived after U.S. strike on Iran - CNBC

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

The sadness was still there.

What is one thing which you cannot stop however hard you try?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are like me, then.

It’s still here.

Why does it smell so bad? I noticed that when I move around my vagina has a stench. It’s usually a wet liquid, almost like pee. There’re little to no discharge and it doesn’t hurt or itch.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What celebrity do you admire the most?

It’s here now, writing to you.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

I was tired of fighting.

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Appendix Cancer Has Quadrupled in Millennials - AOL.com

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

And the sadness?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.